If You Were Gay
by TwinSky72
Summary: Allen's acting strange and Kanda's sure he knows why but that doesn't meant he can control what he does. So now he has to endure the dam moyashi singing this annoying song. One-shot,Yullen


**Nat:** Ahh my first DGM fic and it's a parody (sort of) on the song "If You Were Gay" by Avenue Q (i don't own this so don't sue k's? K :D )

**Allen: **Well it's nice to meet you Nat

**Nat:** OMFG! IT'S ALLEN! *glomps* oh i have a very unhealthy obsession with you. At least my friend says i do. *still glomping*

**Allen:** C-can't breathe

**Kanda:** Baka you're killing him get off.

**Nat:** YUU-BEAR! Omg ur here to –glomps- (^o^) my life is like soo complete

**Kanda:** *twitch*twitch* wtf did u just call me?

**Nat: **yuu-bear why?

**Kanda:** '_oh god it's worse than that baka usagi...'_I'LL KILL YOU!

**Nat: **you wouldn't do that, after all i have your precious moyashi with me

**Kanda:** *calms down* Che.

**Nat:** Anyways this is parody on the song as i said. I personally think lavi fits the part I'm giving Allen better but i like my yullen so u sum words will be changed to my liking : D anyways Allen be an awesome person and give the disclaimer.

**Allen:** H-hai... _**'Nat does not own DGM the song used or anything else related'**_

**Nat: **The song is on my iPod though. Anyways please enjoy 3

P.s. for those of you who know this song Kanda is Rod Allen is Nicky xD

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><p>Kanda looked around his surroundings and smirked. "Che, this is perfect just me training by myself with no one to bother me, especially that baka usagi and annoying moyashi. Life at this moment is good."<p>

"Yuu-chan!" a voice called out from far behind.

"BAKA US-" he stopped short noticing it wasn't lavi who had called for him, but the moyashi. To say the least he was shocked annoying as he may be he respected his wishes to not be called Yuu. He was about to yell at him for calling him his first name when the white haired boy began to speak.

"Hey Yuu-chan, you'll never guess what happened to me when i was waiting for the train to get back to the order. This guy he was smiling at me and talking to me."

Kanda twitched opened his mouth to speak and shut it again. He gave a sarcastic reply and rolled his eyes, Allen either didn't care or didn't notice.

"He was being real friendly, and I think he was coming on to me." Allen leaned in real close as if he were going to say something important. "I think he might've thought I was gay!" He giggled and spun in a quick circle.

Kanda resisted the urge to sweat drop; the moyashi was acting strange and he couldn't place what it was, choosing to ignore it for now he spoke. "Che, and why are you telling me this moyashi? Do I look like I care? Because, if you can't tell I don't care." He wanted to get away from this annoying subject so he said something he thought was sure to change the subject. "What did you have for lunch today moyashi?"

Allen giggled again. "Oh, Yuu-chan don't get all defensive like that!"

"I am not getting defensive you baka!" why was he having this conversation anyway it wasn't like he cared. "I don't give a shit about some gay dude you met, okay? I'm trying to train leave me alone."

"But I didn't meant anything by it, Yuu-chan. I just think it's something we should be able to talk about." He gave a lopsided grin and giggled yet again.

Something was seriously wrong with the moyashi, he was always annoying but this, this is to strange. Pinching the bridge of his nose he breathed in deeply and spoke. "I do not want to talk about this you idiotic moyashi! Now go away!"

" Yeah, but Yuu-chan..." though he said it in a somewhat depressed manner, he giggled yet again but this time he hiccupped and stumbled a bit.

It was then that Kanda realized why the moyashi was acting so strange... he was drunk. He had heard Cross had come back, he was most likely the cause of this. Because of that sorry excuse for a general he had to deal with an annoying, drunk moyashi. Rubbing the sides of his temples he irritably said "yeah nothing get the fuck away from me before i slice you up!"

Allen giggled and smirked. Kanda's eyes widen a fraction; for the moyashi to smirk it must mean something... and he had a feeling it wasn't anything good. "Well, okay, but just so you know –

'_If you were gay _

_That'd be okay._

_I mean 'cause, hey,_

_I'd like you anyway._

_Because you see,_

_If it were me, _

_I would feel to say that I was gay~ _

_(But I'm not gay.) '_

Oh god he was singing. Just what did that general give him? Kanda resisted the urge to face palm. "You baka shut up and leave I'm trying to train..." it was then Kanda realized just what he had been singing. "MOYASHI WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!" though he felt stupid for asking in such a loud voice he couldn't help it the shock was too great.

Completely ignoring Kanda he continued singing. _'If you were queer_ – Kanda interrupted him telling him to stop but was once again ignored –

_I'd still be here,_ – once again interrupted once again ignored –

_Year after year_ – Kanda just didn't get that he wasn't going to be acknowledged –

_Because you're dear to me,_ – Kanda gave a frustrated sound –

_And I know that you_ – was he being acknowledged? –

_Would accept me too_ – accept what? –

_If I told you today, "Hey guess what, I'm gay!" (But I'm not gay)~ '_

'_I'm happy just being with you._ – Kanda tried to ignore him focus on his training instead –

_So what should it matter to me what you do in bed with guys?'_

Kanda stumbled and was sure if had any form of liquid in his mouth he would of spit it out. "Moyashi this is inappropriate, wrong, and gross!"

"No it's not!" He giggled and resumed singing.

'_If you were gay I'd shout hurray!'_

"I am not listening to this!" Kanda all but yelled.

'_And here I'd stay,'_

"la la la la la!" Kanda covered his ears and hummed no matter how silly and uncharacteristic it made him seem.

'But i wouldn't get in your way.'

"Aaah for the love of god shut up!" Kanda wasn't sure how much more he could take.

'_You can count on me_

_To always be_

_Beside you every day,_

_To tell its okay,_

_You were just born that way,_

_And as they say _

_It's in your DNA,_

_You're gay!_'

Kanda twitched. " I AM NOT GAY YOU BAKA!"

Once again Allen giggled. "If you were gay, Yuu-chan."

"Argh!" Kanda was just glad it was finally over.

" ...And that is what i dreamt last night." Lenalee finished. She looked at her two friends; Lavi looked like he was barely containing laughter and Allen had a light pink blush on his face.

"Wait, so you're telling me you dreamt that a drunken Allen was singing the '_If You Were Gay'_ song to Allen?" Lenalee nodded; once Lavi saw the nod he burst out laughing. He just had to the thought of that was just so fucking hilarious. Once his laughter subsided a bit he spoke again. "Hey guys you know Rod, the person Kanda was, was actually gay?" Lenalee's eyes widened a bit but said nothing, Allen looked away his blush slightly darker. Lavi noticed this and let a playful/evil/mischievous (take your pick) grin grace his features.

"Say Allen do you know something we don't know?~~" Lavi purred moving closer towards Allen.

"W-what, n-no, of course not L-lavi." Allen stammered his blush once again darkening.

"Are you sure? Because you sure look like you do." Lavi was right next to Allen their sides touching. Lenalee just watched saying nothing a light blush on her face.

"Y-yes I'm sure!" Allen looked away.

Lavi put his mouth next to Allen's ear and spoke. "Come on moyashi-chan you can tell me~" He purred. Allen shivered from the feeling of the hot breath on his ear. He spoke his voice still shaky.

"L-lavi! I told y-you not to c-call me that!" he tried sounding serious but failed miserably. Lavi was about to continue but a hand grabbed his collar yanking him up. Said person was none other than Kanda, and he looked oh so pissed.

"Y-yuu-chan..." Lavi stammered he was terrified at the moment.

"What are you doing touching _my _moyashi?" Allen's already flushed face turned a cherry red.

"Yu-" he began to say but quickly stopped himself. "B-BAKANDA! Who said I'm _your_ moyashi! I'm not some property you own!"

"Che. Whatever." He dropped Lavi on the ground; who almost immediately began praying to every god he knew for sparing his life. He moved on to Allen picked him up bridal style and proceeded to leave the room.

"BAKANDA! Just what do you think you're doing with me? Put me down this instance." Allen asked banging lightly on Kanda with his arms as if he didn't really want to be put down.

"What does it look like I'm doing carrying you out of here, too many idiots." Many 'heys' were heard from the occupants of the room, but immediately became grumbles when Kanda glared at them, and so Kanda left, with a blushing Allen, leaving a room full of very confused people behind.

"Hey... Lenalee any idea what just happened here?" Lavi asked popping up next to Lenalee staring out the door Kanda and Allen left through.

"No... not really, but i have a feeling my dream might have been a sign to this." Lavi nodded.

"Yup, but who would've guessed it moyashi-chan and Yuu-chan." Lenalee nodded.

"Anyways, guess we'll deal with this later right now I'm hungry lets go eat Lavi."

"Oh my god! Totally I'm starving lets go." He said running towards the door at full speed and then he turned around bouncing waiting for Lenalee. Lenalee giggled today sure was interesting.

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><p><strong>Nat:<strong> blah took forever QQ and it's so short. This was supposed to be yullen (still is) but i think i saw laven in this O.o Oh wells both are cute -u-

**Kanda:** just what the fuck this...

**Nat:** why a fan fiction yuu-bear, kind of slow aren't we?

*Kanda growls*

**Allen:** I don't think you should provoke Kanda, Nat

**Nat:** I'm not trying to though

**Lavi:** Don't worry Yuu-chan's fun to tease.

**Nat:** LAVI! –Glomps-

**Kanda: **Baka usagi i told you never to call me that *takes out mugen*

**Lavi: **Come one yuu-chan lets be civilized about this *slash* *nervous laugh* AHHHH!

*Kanda and Lavi run off*

**Nat:** Well that was odd

**Allen: **Sadly not really...

**Nat:** haha dw Allen your life's still awesome.

**Allen:** Sure...

**Nat:** *grins* pats on back* Well anyways thanks guys for reading! Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as i did writing it.

Now to write that pending ff...

Well –

Ja Nae for now~


End file.
